Invincibelle Profile
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. The Beginning
What were the challenges of growing up in an ethnically diverse environment?
Throughout my life I’ve often been mistaken as being of Asian ancestry. This was particularly perplexing to me as a kid. As a child, classmates perceived me as belonging to an Asian minority of children surrounded by a black majority and some Mexican families. I experienced early on what establishing a pecking order means among school children: Attempts at placing others different than themselves in some ranking. Perceived by me peers to be Asian, I fell third in an order that established black children first, Mexican children second, and Asian children third in terms of positive regard. Fortunately, I had parents who proudly instilled a sense of appreciation for things Mexican, traditions, and language that endure to this day and greatly influence my choices when it comes to work projects and volunteer activities. Nowadays, I am amused that I might be greeted in Tagalog or offered tea rather than water if in a Vietnamese eatery. I find those small gestures to be signs of acceptance as one of their own.
What problems did you face in school or in unviverity?
As an undergraduate student, I was concerned about possibly losing my connection to my parents. I was the first-born, first to go to college, live away from home, and first daughter to go out-of-state one summer for studies. I had to feel comfortable being away from home, not guilty to live new experiences that perhaps surpassed my parents’ own: complete adoption of a new language (I grew up in a monolingual Spanish-speaking home); new lifestyle (not living with parents as a young adult); an attraction to the performance arts and theater, multicultural events, activities that required the purchase of entrance fees at a cost that my parents might not be able to afford themselves.
I suffered from the erroneous belief that I had to get by on my own effort when I encountered academic difficulties. Rather than seeking help from academic advisors or student support services, I spent more time studying and trying to stay academically afloat than developing socially and growing through experiences that required social interaction away from class-related work. I held onto an unhealthy belief that someone might discover that I did not truly deserve the academic scholarships that I had been granted or a place at the university where I spent four years straight after high school. As a science major, I learned to memorize a lot, but not sufficiently to think critically. This was something that was of great disadvantage to me when I went to graduate school the first time around.
In graduate school for my first career, I was required to give my opinion through written essays, make decisions about coursework that presumably would get me closer to entering the work world, and begin to establish myself in the labor force as a credible career-oriented female (never mind my upbringing in a home where children’s opinions weren’t solicited or my social ineptitude through college given my lack of non-academic experiences!) All the while, I was still my parents’ “little girl” rather than a young adult on her way to making her own living personally, professionally, and financially. Caught in a mix of emotions about my responsibility to family and self, my grades suffered, I was placed on academic probation, and dismissed after my first year. What a failure!!? Or was it?? In retrospect, it’s clearer that I’d come upon a major “fork in the road” when I had to decide to continue my academic track in the health field or do something altogether different. I took a detour and started anew! Round one of what would later be a longer-than-anticipated-but-oh-so-worth-it path to a couple of graduate degrees.
What were some of the things you learnt on the way?
I could tell stories, but here are my condensed versions in a few single lines (dates indicate the period in my life when a particular lesson came to light). Funny what we remember.
There are different paths to a same pursuit (1981-1986).
Don’t count myself out of the game without even trying to play it (1982).
Some people may have in mind what is good for you (parents included); you have to be the one to experience what’s good for you (1976 – ongoing).
Money comes and money goes, health is precious (1992 – ongoing).
Good people become part of your life when you are ready to receive them (1993 – ongoing).
. The Transition
What challenges did you face in the transition to get to where you are today?
Where I am today is as an independent, small-business founder with the option to select with whom and for whom I do work in exchange for money that pays for lifestyle essentials. To help bolster my sense of purpose and become acquainted with business practices, I returned to a formal education program after an 18-year break from textbooks, learning new concepts and models, acquiring the language of my newly chosen field, and much reading and writing. The greater challenge was too not feel I’d made a mistake by taking a detour from having a regular paycheck to starting fresh as a relatively unknown newcomer in a new profession.
Also, the field of evaluation is a vast one and issues of multiculturalism are at play when we consider who makes decisions about funding research and implementation projects that affect a multicultural audience. To be a bilingual and bicultural evaluator is a valuable service to clients and the people for which community health programs (my specialty and practice) are designed, developed, implemented, and evaluated. The challenge from a bicultural perspective is to remain objective, yet sensitive to the issues that newcomer, immigrant, multicultural people face.
It’s tempting to want to disassociate from disenfranchised and economically disadvantaged communities when you believe you have acculturated and gained some degree of economic and social status. It’s essential to not forget your roots if they include experiences that keep you humble and honest to yourself. That makes for a happier more relaxed way of being and consequently a more genuine professional and colleague.
If given an opportunity, what would you have done differently?
I’m not sure I would have done much differently. Either I didn’t know any better or I feel I’ve treaded my own path in many ways. Fortunately, I enjoyed reading and writing, school and books were my exposure to worlds outside of my own home. Undoubtedly, being spotted as an academically oriented student helped me be part of mentoring programs for high school students. I credit that for helping me keep in mind the possibility of going to college. As a young adult (college and graduate student), it was often with the tacit support of my parents. They encouraged education and I appreciate all the blessings (literally) they sent my way.
As one to be the first to move away from home, earn my own living, marry someone of a different cultural upbringing, choose not to have children, and who-knows-what-else I might try next, I have my mom to occasionally surprise and share stories and laughter with. With that in mind, there is something I am trying to catch up with because I feel I neglected connecting with my siblings for chunks in our lives when we were younger. We are three, ten and twenty years apart and ended up in different schools, forming different friendships, and living at home with our parents at different times. As we’ve formed our own families, I think we’ve come to appreciate each other more yet still struggle with remaining connected. Interestingly, when we get together, it’s not our academic degrees or “success stories” that we talk about first, it’s generally asking how we are doing at the time, how we each have interacted lately with our remaining parent, and being thankful for the accomplishments of our youngest brother who, among his peers of mentally disabled young adults, is an artistic, musically inclined, highly independent young man.
What kept you inspired to do better?
I suppose early stints at student council in elementary school, teachers’ homework requirements in jr. high, and my parents’ remarks about wanting their kids to “not have to struggle” like they did all added up to my sense of having to do my share to fulfill something grander than what surrounded me at the time. Also, my parents’ encouragement on the few occasions when, as a child, they splurged to take my sister and I out to eat (the others weren’t yet born) to try foods other than the ones cooked at home supported a sense of curiosity, interest, and daring to explore, attempt new things, and gain new insights for doing so.
From a youth’s perspective living near East Los Angeles, I knew early enough that being a salesperson at the local Sears department store (what seemed then to be the largest employer around where I might work straight out of high school) wasn’t going to be sufficiently stimulating!
. The Present
What are your current personal & professional pursuits?
Personal:
1. Remain a compatible, interesting, kind, loveable partner to my husband
2. Continue having experiences that illustrate to my mom what a great job she did as a parent to raise her daughters and son to be thoughtful, generous, and respectful of life
3. Make sufficient income to share my love of travel with my husband, mom, and brother by having them join me on several international cruises
Professional:
1. Acquire new clients
2. Develop a manuscript for publication in a journal of the American Evaluation Association
What are your hobbies? How do you relax? Are you able to manage work life balance?
Hobbies: creating silver jewelry from precious metal clay, collecting “Day of the Dead” folk art and crafts, finding bargains. With hobbies, I enjoy creating something or coming away with a “prize”. The time I spend in my jewelry-making class or shopping for unusual items or bargains is usually part of my weekly schedule. Otherwise, I can easily stay glued to my computer, read technical journals, or attempt (yet again) to develop a joy for statistics and probability theory by leafing through my books in an unhurried way.
My hobbies are for fun. To relax, I go for walks with my dog, do laundry, sip tea, or visit with friends who make me laugh.
As an independent consultant, work/life balance is easier than with a job position that requires reporting to someone during regular business hours or outrageous job demands.
. The Future
What is next in your life?
This year, I’ve got a sightseeing trip to China with my husband. Who knew? Travel to Asia and being married were not things I imagined would be true for me when I was too involved with making it through graduate school or developing my first career.
What’s even funnier, is being part something that my husband created and which we share as a joint venture: facilitating the love of learning through presentations of Punctuation Playtime, a program that teaches elementary school children proper punctuation in fun ways (see http://www.PunctuationPlaytime.com). We’ll be exhibitors at education conferences throughout the U.S. this year and expect to have Punctuation Playtime be attractive enough to teachers, principals, and others so they buy our products.
Recently, I became part of the training team for Women’s Initiative for Self-Employment (see http://www.WomensInitiative.org) and facilitate training and consultation for women who have a dream of developing their own small business to acquire economic self-sufficiency.
As founder of Evaluation Focused Consulting (see http://www.EvaluationFocused.com), I’ll be open to possible collaborative relationships for presentations, publications, and consultation to nonprofits, foundations, and corporations with health programs and initiatives. Business development will be gradual as I develop a network of colleagues with skills complementary to mine so we are competitive, responsive, and extraordinary in serving future clients.
What resources at Invicibelle.com do you think would help women who wish to come to this country?
I applaud Deepika Bajaj, Invincibelle’s founder for having the foresight to create a portal that speaks to professional, multi-cultural women seeking a bit of orientation to a new place for living, working, socializing, and growing personally and professionally.
I suppose women will have varied interests depending on what phase of their lives they are in when they come to the United States, if it is by choice or circumstance, as a young adult or established professional, with their own families or single. I am all for providing information that touches upon the emotional, physical, educational, social, and financial aspects of living specific to women. What that is will develop as visitors to Invincibelle request what they are not finding elsewhere.
. The Guidance
From your vast experience, what is your message for women who wish to either move to this country or are already here?
For either, the assumption is that there are vast opportunities provided women could be connected to others with inkling about resources and the generosity to share what they know. However, that requires a sense of self-efficacy and the language ability to navigate educational and social systems and networks with confidence and English-language fluency. For women who have been fortunate to obtain formal training, but may be ineligible to practice their profession because of language or U.S. regulatory/legal barriers, it will be important to introduce them to services that facilitate development of English-language and/or technical skills in the profession, career, or job track for which they are suitable, but may be passed on because of lack of English-language literacy and/or fluency.
What should a multicultural woman do to grow as a leader?
Capitalize on her own experiences and be daring. Surround herself with like-minded and supportive people who value her. Recognize that there will be failures and successes.
Every woman has to keep up with one or more roles – a mother, a wife, a professional. What advice you have for multicultural women who need to keep a healthy balance between these roles?
The roles may not come easily or naturally. They are learned in the context of one’s own life and circumstances. Because of that, we can pick up tips from people who’ve gone before us or share similar experiences, but ultimately we are the ones who experiment and experience; we may discard what doesn’t work and adopt what suits us. A clue to having obtained a “healthy balance” is being able to soundly sleep at night without regret or anxiety.
