Lata Patil President, Cardea Center for Women and Chair, Santa Clara County Commission on the Status of Women, Palo Alto, CA Bachelors in Literature, Masters in Library Science and Graduate of the Women Leaders of the World at SCU Indo American To be born a girl is a gift we were given. To become a real woman of wisdom and courage is a gift we give the world. ~Marianne Williamson

        

. The Beginning

What brought you to this country?

I had graduated from BHU and in the midst of pursuing post-graduate work, got married and joined my husband who was at that time a graduate student at an East Coast University.  It was a great experience and I thoroughly enjoyed the campus settings as my husband moved from RPI to Cornel to M.I.T and now here I am, next door to Stanford.
 

What problems did you face when you got here?

Can’t really say there were problems, may be the freezing cold weather? Having moved around quite a bit while growing up and away from home during college, I was used to living in different places and under different situations. And, having been somewhat exposed to western literature, music and politics, I just went about learning to adjust to my new settings. Still, mundane everyday issues of navigating in a different culture cropped up and having no support system of sisters, relatives, friends to lean on, was scary and very lonely at first.
But people were very open to someone so different. It was the height of fascination with everything Indian and yoga, TM, Indian food, Ravi Shanker were big topics of discussion with the students. I was an exotic example of all that and embraced by the campus community. I also had the advantage of speaking English, having a Master’s degree, so I was lucky enough to be immediately hired by the local college library on a research project.

What were some of the things you learnt on the way?

Looking back, what struck me was how open and friendly Americans were, how concerned they were about global issues and ready to jump in wherever needed.
It was heady and exhilarating during my early days here. A wide array of political and social causes had shaken up this country with lasting influences. I had the good fortune to hear some of the revered feminists of our time, like Gloria Steinem (who had started the feminist magazine, Ms), Bella Abzug, and Betty Friedan etc, who spoke eloquently about the shift that was taking place for women and who were starting to develop a voice of their own. They were stirring thousands of that generation to take action and greatly influenced and shaped my own thoughts.
I always say that my father was the first feminist I knew, for the sense of self-worth and independence he taught my sisters and me. He always told us we could do anything we wanted and it was up to us to have the courage to make our own choices. I threw myself into all sorts of activities, starting with women’s issues. Later, when I stayed home with my newborn son, my energies were directed towards activism as a mother and a community member. It was a great way to learn about what was going on around me and actually helped me understand local concerns better.  I continue to be awestruck with this American tendency to band together to address societal needs and you can’t shake me from my belief that volunteers really run this country!

. The Transition

What challenges did you face in the transition to get to where you are today?

It sounds odd now, but growing up I was shy and introverted, living with brilliant older sisters. That was something I had to consciously shed if I wanted to convince people about the issues I was trying to address. I had to learn to speak up and take a stand when initiating several organizations like the Indian Women in Business (now IBPW) or Indo-American Community Service Center. What was also tough was facing the skepticism around me, especially about my advocacy on behalf of battered women in my community, where little support and resources existed then. The climate is so much different today and much easier to talk about gender empowerment, violence and abuse, but at that time, my friends thought I was nuts and only a small group of people were supportive.

By the 90s, I had discovered my organizing skills and understood my strengths, so the transition has been much easier than I had thought and supports what I am now doing. The challenges now were more about being credible, being heard. In a field where there are few South Asians, lots of presumptions are made. Sometimes one feels the subtle traces of prejudice but here in the culturally diverse environment of the Bay area, your success can depend on how you handle that.  I realized that I had to do the best job I could, which opened up the way for convincing people about my ideas. I used to worry about not being competitive enough or people saying “Oh my god! She is so different”. But the truth is that, going the ‘extra mile’ and valuing those around you gets you the respect you deserve. What has been so alien and discomfiting to me is that ambition & self-promotion seem not only expected and but lauded.
When I have found myself to be alone, the biggest challenge always was, staying true to my own values and beliefs. Maneuvering myself across two wholly different cultures was awkward at times, forcing me sometimes to take the hard and long way but it also kept me focused on my goals. It has required a sense of self-worth, empathy and trust – something I am still learning, gradually.

If given an opportunity, what would you have done differently?

No regrets! Perhaps I could have believed in myself more and ventured to do some of it earlier. I have this extraordinary feeling of good fortune being able to do what I believe in. It has been a journey of discovery about myself and the world we live in, a world that is often hostile to women, so though it has not been easy, it has been a deeply satisfying one, full of connecting with many women and thankfully I have had the good sense to recognize those opportunities.

What kept you inspired to do better?

I have enjoyed helping launch several grassroots efforts in the community and putting my experience and skills into things I am passionate about and along the way, I have had opportunities to meet and work with women & men who are doing some of the most extraordinary work and are truly gutsy with their work on controversial social issues. That has encouraged me to take risks and initiate a women’s center in Silicon Valley that would become a local powerhouse for women’s empowerment.  Recently I spent some time with a woman close to 80,who has spent three decades working on women’s rights in this country and continues to travel everywhere supporting other women. It not only keeps me humble but continuously challenged and excited. I am extremely lucky to be part of a process that can benefit individual lives, especially women. That has been deeply satisfying.

My trips to India, where the women’s movement is vibrant, thriving and shaking up the system, always inspires and re-energizes me. 
 

. The Present

What are your current personal & professional pursuits?

I love this new public role- with the Commission and with the Cardea Center – though it’s likely my most challenging role. Together they give me a chance to express all my interests and my beliefs without any discontinuity. As a board member of a few other non-profits, I am part of some exciting new initiatives and hope to have some impact there. I have hopes of having more relaxed time with my family & friends, and would love to do more reading and traveling, as I am fascinated by various cultures and find people watching so entertaining.

What are your hobbies? How do you relax? Are you able to manage work life balance?

Time has become a luxury, so I have to be creative about doing some of the things I enjoy. When stress around me increases and I need to ground myself, I have turned to exercise and meditation and so have made it a regular part of my routine. Both my husband and I love listening to all kinds of music- both Indian and western, especially jazz. Reading is a great pleasure and I belong to a book club where we tend to read a lot of early American history but my personal favorite is the British mystery genre and biographies as well as all the new and emerging Indian writers. So I have stacks of books all over the house and reading two or three books at the same time. Multi-ethnic fusion cooking gives me a wonderful sense of creativity and travel keeps my curiosity about people satisfied.  We have a few trips planned every year. My very supportive husband is my compass, keeps me focused in the right direction.

. The Future

What is next in your life?

Currently, I wear two different hats with heavy commitments. There is a tremendous need for services the Cardea Center for Women (www.cardeacenterforwomen.org) will provide and its success is a huge commitment for me, especially at this start-up stage. The outpouring of support and advice has been amazing. This has been my major focus for the past two years – to create a special space here in the heart of Silicon Valley where women are valued and have equal access to opportunities for growth and fulfillment.

The commission, where I will continue to lead, has had a very productive year bringing out an important report on the effects of recession on low-income women. End of summer, we held a summit on the UN women’s bill of rights called CEDAW- the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women and looked at local instances of discrimination. This event was a culmination of two years of work with local community groups on human rights. In August, the commission celebrated women’s suffrage at its annual Women’s Equality Day Breakfast to honor individuals who have made outstanding contributions, which is always a big draw. We are focusing on several emerging issues like trafficking and the rights of women in jail and foresee more work advocating on behalf of women and girls. 
I also have an ongoing interest in keeping my connection to women in India alive and have a deep interest in the policies that impact women & girls there. Having avidly followed the efforts to elect the first woman President in India, I am now curious to see if that will be a step forward for India’s women and girls and bring about some real difference.

What resources at Invicibelle.com do you think would help women who wish to come to this country?

There are not enough places that value women’s voices and showcase their accomplishments and even more so, the immigrant woman has been pretty much ignored. Your efforts to show her as a role model is in itself of tremendous value to all.  Reading the stories of these women revealing their strength and spirit can be so reaffirming. Kudos on having created a virtual networking community for women, connecting women everywhere to a new global village.
 

. The Guidance

From your vast experience, what is your message for women who wish to either move to this country or are already here?

This is a country of immigrants, full of opportunities and goodwill. Appreciate the courage and the sacrifice that you needed to move away from your home, family and friends. Learn to work out your personal cultural values vis-à-vis your current settings and then decide what you’d like to do, know that you can’t do it on your own. Believe in yourself, have a plan, set your goals, know where you want life to take you and create that path. Don’t allow your doubts to immobilize you from getting to your goals, each opportunity can be full of surprising successes. Learn about the community you live in, make time to volunteer and participate in your neighborhood and school activities.

What should a multicultural woman do to grow as a leader?

Straddling vastly different cultures can seem impossible to surmount, but turn it into your advantage when you lead. There is tremendous strength in putting forth different perspectives. Whatever your goals are, believe in yourself, be proud of your differences, and recognize your cultural heritage and experiences as something unique you can bring to your leadership.
·         Listen and be guided by the ‘inner voice’ within yourself.
·         Don’t hesitate to take a stand; the world needs to hear independent women’s voices.  
·         Learn from others, find a role model and a mentor willing to help and support your ambition, there are so many avenues to learn and grow.
·         Don’t worry about making mistakes. Speak up, learn to communicate and let people know who you are.
·         Value yourself and value others.

Every woman has to keep up with one or more roles – a mother, a wife, a professional. What advice you have for multicultural women who need to keep a healthy balance between these roles?

It is really more of a juggling act for most women. There can’t be any set rules except don’t try to be a superwoman and know that you can’t do it all. Make sure that you don’t fall into the trap of pigeon-holing yourself along cultural lines and don’t allow others to do it either. Decide what’s important to you and focus on that. Each stage in life has its own demands and time-management becomes crucial. Women are so good at multi-tasking but keep that under control before you end up frazzled and unable to concentrate. The goal is to seek what works for you and be content with your choices.